> No More Secrets And Lies: Crazy Christmas

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Crazy Christmas

By Christmas of that year, my daughter Grace seemed to be following Mary's example and was starting to withdraw from me as well. Like with Mary, I had always had a very close relationship with Grace. And also like with Mary, I was never told why my relationship with Grace was now ending. She had stopped coming over to my house altogether and was now staying at her mom's house exclusively. We still talked on the phone, occasionally, and she would talk to me if I walked over to her mom's house to see her. But she was returning fewer and fewer of my calls and making less and less time available to be with me. But even worse, she would no longer hug me or tell me she loved me and I didn't know why.


A few days before Christmas I drove over to my ex-wife's house to drop off a Christmas present for Mary (I had already given presents to her sisters.). I knew I wouldn't be able to give Mary her present in person, but I wanted her to have it anyhow. And even though she now said she hated me, that hadn't changed how I felt about her or how I was treated her. My oldest daughter Josie was home for Christmas, and all three of my girls were now acting in way I had never seen them act before.

I was walking across the lawn toward the house when Grace came outside to greet me and noticed I was holding a gift in my hand. When she found out the gift was for Mary, she became extremely upset and started crying, uncontrollably. I asked her what in the world was wrong, and while wiping back tears, she tried her best to explain:

"Dad, why are you bringing Mary a Christmas present? You know she's just going to rip it up and throw it away because she hates you. You're just going to make her even madder at you. Why would you do this to her?"

She was convinced I was only giving Mary a present to make her hate me even more and to create problems at her mom's house. It was impossible for her to believe I could be doing it for any other reason. I couldn't believe what I was hearing, and I was getting worried that something very, very wrong was going on over here. I tried to reason with her.

"Grace, it's normal for a father to give his daughter a gift at Christmas. That's all I'm doing."

But this made her even angrier, and she cried even more, and it now seemed that, in addition to being frightened of Mary's rage, she was horrified to discover that what she had been told about me might actually be true — that I was some crazy man who took pleasure in tormenting his own children. And I think the shock and sadness of her realizing I was no longer the father she had known, is why she broke down and cried that day. I was shocked as well to find out there was nothing I could do to change this image she now had of me. If I disagreed with her, it meant I was even more sinister and was now trying to trick her. There seemed to be nothing I could do to make her think otherwise.

Josie had been watching all of this from a few feet away and came over to where Grace and I were standing. She seemed as upset and confused as Grace was and uttered some half-hearted defense of me — either because she wasn't sure what the truth was or because she was afraid she might get in trouble for defending me in her mother's front yard. She meekly told Grace,

"I guess it's okay for a father to give his daughter a gift at Christmas." She wasn't sure about this, though.

I looked at the two of them like they were mad, or like I had just landed on the wrong planet. Something was wrong — real, real wrong — and for a moment I wished I was on the wrong planet. I couldn't believe what I was hearing. These weren't my girls. They had never acted like this before. Was somebody making them acting this way? I had to find out.

I then remembered that Mary had a social worker (hard as this was to believe), and even though I didn't know who this was, I was determined to find out, and find out what was going on with my girls. I left the gift and went down to Social Services.





5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Can you blow my whistle baby, whistle baby
Let me know
Girl I'm gonna show you how to do it
And we start real slow
You just put your lips together
And you come real close
Can you blow my whistle baby, whistle baby
Here we go

(Look) I'm betting you like people
And I'm betting you love creep mode
And I'm betting you like girls that give love to girls
And stroke your little ego
I bet you I'm guilty your honor
That's just how we live in my genre
Who in the hell done paved the road wider?
There's only one flo, and one rida
I'm a damn shame
Order more champagne, pull a damn hamstring
Tryna put it on ya
Bet your lips spin back around corner
Slow it down baby take a little longer

Can you blow my whistle baby, whistle baby
Let me know
Girl I'm gonna show you how to do it
And we start real slow
You just put your lips together
And you come real close
Can you blow my whistle baby, whistle baby
Here we go

Whistle baby, whistle baby,
Whistle baby, whistle baby
Whi-whistle baby, whistle baby
Whistle baby, whistle baby
Whi-whistle baby, whistle baby

It's like everywhere I go
My whistle ready to blow
Shawty don't leave a note
She can get any by the low
Permission not approved
It's okay, it's under control
Show me soprano, 'cause girl you can handle
Baby we start snagging, you come up in part clothes
Girl I'm losing wing, my Bugatti the same road
Show me your perfect pitch, you got it my banjo
Talented with your lips, like you blew out a candle
So amusing, now you can make a whistle with the music
Hope you ain't got no issue, you can do it
Give me the perfect pitch, ya never lose it

Can you blow my whistle baby, whistle baby
Let me know
Girl I'm gonna show you how to do it
And we start real slow
You just put your lips together
And you come real close
Can you blow my whistle baby, whistle baby
Here we go

Whistle baby, whistle baby,
Whi-whistle baby, whistle baby
Whistle baby, whistle baby,
Whi-whistle baby, whistle baby

Go girl you can twerk it
Let me see you whistle while you work it
I'mma lay it back, don't stop it
'Cause I love it how you drop it, drop it, drop it on me
Now, shawty let that whistle blow-oh, oh oh
Yeah, baby let that whistle blow-oh oh!

Can you blow my whistle baby, whistle baby
Let me know
Girl I'm gonna show you how to do it
And we start real slow
You just put your lips together
And you come real close
Can you blow my whistle baby, whistle baby
Here we go

Whistle baby, whistle baby,
Whi-whistle baby, whistle baby,
Whistle baby, whistle baby,
Whistle baby, whistle baby

TSElliott said...

I - of course am commenting while I read. So, eventually you find out what all of this is about and the girls in your life are all terrified of you. This makes you the outcast and no one understands your disbelief. I can relate because I am a mother with 4 boys and they are all being turned against me in the same way. It is like what you love is always taken from you.

John Brosnan said...

Stay connected with your children any way you can, if you can. I think this is the best way to prevent this from happening. Few courts have a way to stop situations like mine when agencies like social services are backing (or causing) the alienation. I don't know what I could have done now that I look back. I was naive.

SayNoToPAS said...

http://nomoresecretsandlies.blogspot.com/2012/09/crazy-christmas_18.html
Sorry to hear what happened. Thanks for sharing your stories. PAS is a very serious form of mental abuse, and is affecting parents regardless of gender, as these comments show; but most importantly is affecting our children. I believe that it is time we stand up in a united front against this form of abuse.

Here is a good video from CNN interviewing Alec Baldwin. As he mentions in part of his interview, there are parties who are not interested in a solution to this problem, they have a form of racketeering going on. So, it is up to us, concerned parents to try to find solutions to this serious issue.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=u38LzlYp78k
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=_fXohR6rvJs

With your permission, I would like to request your permission to share your story in our website in our page: www.saynotopas.com. God bless you and our children.

John Brosnan said...

You absolutely can share my story on your website. Thanks for the comment. - John

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