I Lose My Job and I Lose Mary - August 2010

     At first it was autumn; there were red and yellow leaves for Betsy and Tacy to scuffle underfoot. Then the leaves were brown, then they were blown away; that was in the gray time named November. Then came the exciting first snow, and this was followed by more snow and more. At last the drifts rising beside the sidewalk were higher than their heads.

— From Betsy-Tacy by Maud Hart Lovelace    

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On August 6th of 2010 I was suspended from my job — another ten-day suspension with no pay. I was told I would be fired if and when I returned to work, and I was also basically told by my union that they wouldn't help me, or couldn't help me, and they didn't. I was on my own, and I was out of a job.

That same week, Mary moved out of our apartment and into an apartment of her own. She told me she had a social worker. She also told me she didn't want me in her life anymore. When I went down to the Social Services office to find out what was going on with her, I was turned away.

In November, my mother died from being beaten while lying in her bed in a nursing home. Her death is still a mystery.

Things were piling up around me. I turned away and I turned inward where I could think about what had happened and I write what I could remember. I hadn't connected all the dots yet, but I had a hunch I knew what was going on, and a shape was beginning to form as I began to unearth the secrets and lies that were parts of the puzzle.

After Christmas, Josie returned to Oregon and hasn't been back since. The day before she left, she and I walked Cocoa up the hill behind Betsy's house and talked. She said she wanted people to know how important pets are and thought if more people knew this they wouldn't leave them stranded at the humane society without homes to go to. She was still worried about the dogs she had spent so much time with during her vacation. 

The next day hundreds of red-winged blackbirds fell from the sky.