And so I've left the girls and they've left me, and we now lead lives separate from each other. And this was nothing that should ever have been possible according to the unwritten laws and rules we grew up with regarding family. These things shouldn't be possible in a world where family is valued like it is in the Midwestern Catholic family I grew up in where generations continued on connected to other generations with no thought that it could ever be otherwise.
Until now, that is.
Now when the heavy hand of villainous poison can so easily target an innocent parent and child severing a family like it has been caught in the crossfire of a bloody third world, narco-terrorist shootout leaving innocent bodies lying out in the open, uncovered…exposed…and dying, and changing lives forever.
Both my girls and I are now left to the chasm and void of a life without family: them over there alone. Me over here, alone. Both of us still numb from the silent violence that entered our lives. Both of us still confused and wondering how something so drastic could have happened when we had so much, and were so close, for so long.
And both of us now having learned to shut out a huge portion of our past because it contains memories of who we are – our roots and our foundations – and pretending none of it matters anymore or it never happened in the first place, so it doesn't have to hurt so much.
We're now on different paths away from each other both realizing the cold hard truth that we'll probably never turn around to go back down that path and reclaim what we've lost, because it's just too painful.
And that's the saddest, most painful thing of all.
6 comments:
John, This was very heart wrenching and enlightening to read....I to have had the shear bliss of BEC Social Services etc. When asking for help with my adoptive son who had mental and behavioral DX before coming to me (we were lied to about them), BEC decided it was our fault for helping him then our fault for not understanding the DX even when they had never even heard of it. Needless to say we did our own research and had to locate and check out different placements for him so that he could get the help we couldnt provide but placement that would allow us to be a part of his treatment since he was only 6 years old. i dont know how BEC gets away with this and will never understand it. I know of a few placements Mary was at FR in Iowa as i worked there briefly in 2006 before moving back to Mankato to better our lives, i say this sarcastily, and Elmore as I worked there in 2011 and seen way too much of what Mary told you. I do hope your girls come around eventually and will seek you out. I wish for the same for my adopted lil boy as well now that we have moved into PAS side of things.
Wow. Thanks for the comment. I don't know how BEC gets away with it either, but I'm not shy about telling what they did. Not telling these things, seems to be the biggest mistake people make. I tried my hardest to help my daughter get away from them, and she did well finally when she was home. But they came after her, and did what they did for spite or whatever reason. It's truly sickening. And these are just the cases that are known. There are undoubtedly other children locked away from their families, like Mary was, without parents to check on them. It's a sad situation. Good luck.
Not sure how accurate this whole blog is on facts. Things just don't add up, you are a victim through the whole affair.
Everything I've written is the truth. What facts are you doubting?
My husband is in the same situation as your are John....it is so hurtful and painful. I've researched, reached out to attorneys, counselors, anyone who might could help. It has to start with people understanding and like the previous poster, if you aren't dealing with it or close to someone who is....you'll never get it! Bless you, I'm so sorry for your pain.....I stand beside someone who feels it daily!
Thanks Melissa. You sound like a very supportive wife. There are some great Facebook parental alienation support groups you should check out. One I would strongly recommend is Parental Alienation Support Group World Wide: https://www.facebook.com/groups/PASG5050/
Good luck,
John
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