A few days later, on New Year's Eve,
Josie and Grace came over to my apartment to tell me they were
frightened by some things they heard their mom saying to Mary about
me — bad-mouthing — but now seemingly worse than ever. They used
the word "continuously." They were alarmed by what they had
witnessed: their mother and their aunt talking openly about me and
some money I would be getting, or something like this. They wondered
why adults would be talking about these things openly, in front of
them.
"Dad, they said you shouldn't
be getting this money. Why would that matter to them? Why would they
be talking about this?"
They were as concerned about their
mom's reluctance to hide her talk about me as they were about what she was saying, and it was apparently so shocking to them, that they felt I needed
to know. They were worried for me.
I knew my ex-wife had always
bad-mouthed me in front of the girls, but this was different. This
was stepped up. This was constant. I also knew the girls hated family
conflict more than anything and seldom fanned these flames. So for
them to tell me their mom was saying even worse things about
me meant it had gotten so bad they were willing to risk creating
even more family conflict in order
to stop this bad-mouthing. They were afraid for their Dad.
And now I was afraid too.
And even Grace, whose relationship with me was already showing the effects of bad-mouthing, was concerned by what she had seen at her mom's house — especially now that her mother and her aunt were both doing this.
And now I was afraid too.
And even Grace, whose relationship with me was already showing the effects of bad-mouthing, was concerned by what she had seen at her mom's house — especially now that her mother and her aunt were both doing this.
I tried to imagine what these two adults might
have been saying to Mary that had my two girls so alarmed. The girls had seen
bad-mouthing before, but it was obvious something now was worse: that whatever it was now must have crossed a line they could no
longer ignore.
And it made me wonder if what they saw was worse than bad-mouthing — like maybe threats — threats to Mary that she would be sent back to a group home if she had anything to do with me. But then, I had no way of knowing.
And it made me wonder if what they saw was worse than bad-mouthing — like maybe threats — threats to Mary that she would be sent back to a group home if she had anything to do with me. But then, I had no way of knowing.
1 comments:
That does sound like there might have been some sort of threats involved. There were always threats in my case. Some were as vague as the majority of the accusations. Others were just hurtful and shaming, like when my mom threatened to cancel my sister's birthday party, because she said she wanted to live with our dad.
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