Grace's Changing Schedule

My Journal — February 4, 2009

Tonight Grace and I went looking at glasses. She's going to be getting some soon. We looked here, there, four stores maybe, trying red and purple ones on in mirrors. Ladies helping that work there.

Then we tromped to the back of Sears in the mall to find the eyeglass store. Found patio furniture first. We relax and pretend we're in our mansion.. and would you like to join me for some tea she says.. and I act the part and say, well certainly....

Then up and sitting at a bar, she on one side, me on the other, I order a drink from her. She pretends to make it, but we don't know the names of many drinks… so she says a martini, and I say dry, yes…and she says how can a drink be dry.. and I say two olives please and act like it's been a long day.

*  *  * 

It was difficult for Grace to stick with our week-on, week-off parenting schedule now that Mary was living with me full-time. Grace was living at my house every other week, like she always had, but Mary was now living with me all the time. And the two of them together, all the time, didn't always work. Mary would sometimes lose her temper around Grace, especially if Grace was telling her to quit eating in the living room or quit playing her music loud, or for whatever reason. And Grace is younger and smaller than Mary. One day the two of them got into a fight, and Mary grabbed Grace by the hair and pushed her into a wall. That was it for Grace, and she told me.

"Dad, I can't stay over here anymore! I'm scared to death of this girl!"

I understood.

Grace and I had a long talk about this, and she assured me our relationship wouldn't change even if our schedule did.

"I'm sorry, Dad, but I think I'll just stay at your house on your days off from now on. I mean, this won't hurt our relationship any. We'll still be as close as we always were. Don't worry about that, Dad."

"I know, Grace. I understand."

It was difficult for both of us. We were going to see each other less, and we thoroughly enjoyed hanging out together, talking about everything and anything under the sun, making up silly games, and laughing 'till our sides hurt. Really. Grace is amazing and has a killer sense of humor. Really. And Grace knew I didn't prefer Mary over her. She was just afraid of being home alone with Mary when I was at work, and I didn't blame her. After that day, she stayed at my house only on my days off.

I was still involved in her life, of course, in every way, and I would still see her throughout the week, even when I was working — quite a bit actually. If I was running an errand or something, I'd give her a call, and she and I would hang out. We were still together a lot, just not as much as we had been when she lived with me every other week. This was hard for both of us. We had never been separated like this before, but Mary was a priority now, and we needed to arrange our schedules for her.

It was one of the sacrifices Grace and I would make for Mary. I knew we would make up for this loss of time together soon and I was sure this wouldn't affect our relationship in any way.